Final Fantasy 14 has some weird bosses. In fact, some of the hardest encounters in the game are against enemies like his cobbled-together majesty, Perfect Alexander, and then whatever awaits us in Kefka's ultimate-tier clown show when it launches this summer, but they're all old news as far as I'm concerned. The real FF14 sickos are all about a new dungeon boss, Chort. He lives in the Clyteum. Chort—a patch 7.5 boss with zero spoken lines who violently rolls around the arena a few times before he's slain for a pair of gloves—is the new weird little (big) guy players are obsessed with. We've only known Chort for about a week, and his popularity rivals last month's Evercold reveal. I'm only sort of kidding, but look at this guy. He's of no major significance to the plot, and he doesn't drop anything particularly good, but he's beloved by all for his clearly seasoned battle posture—just look at that wide stance, ain't no one tipping him over—and brick house build. He's also quite the speedy boy, and has a whole mechanic where you've got to dodge him as he flings himself around the arena. Honestly, I think Chort belongs in FF14's wrestling-themed raid series, the Arcadion, not the Clyteum. And no, Clyteum isn't a typo either. That's a real Final Fantasy 14 dungeon name. There's a lot going on in Patch 7.5, okay? A fixation with weird little guys isn't a new FF14 phenomenon; the MMORPG is full of them. Last year, we had this nameless, glitched deer roaming the Coerthas Western Highlands, and before that, there was Dawntrail's no-thoughts-behind-those-eyes baby Mamool Ja and Endwalker's son with every disease. Now we have Chort, and once again the community hasn't let me down. They're Chort posting through it all. "Moments like this are why I play this game and love this community," a Reddit comment reads. "I gave chort some jorts," another user wrote on X, attaching an incredible screenshot of Chort wearing jorts. "Chort appreciation post, do you appreciate Chort?"