Last Year I Predicted All Three Of Valve's Announcements So Now I...

I predict a near-perfect year for PC gaming hardware, mark my words.

Long ago, it was foretold that there would arrive a special person of average height, muddy blonde hair, and absent-minded character, who would prophesy the coming of the most glorious PC gaming technology. Far and wide would he proclaim what is to come in the PC gaming hardware industry.

That's me. I'm that special person. Don't believe me? Let me give you the evidence. Last year, I made my 2025 hardware wishlist, and I absolutely nailed it when it came to Valve's products. Three in a row, literally. Steam Machines? Yep, here they come. Steam Controller? You bet. And a new Steam VR headset—do you even need to ask?

And listen, I can already hear the 'shotgun approach' and 'broken clock' sniggers at the back, but I shan't hear it. I am now a tech prophet, and that's that. I know it's true because I say so, and the fact that I say so can be trusted because I'm a tech prophet. Don't think about that too much.

Jacob closes his eyes and ponders last year's predictions. As he realises these were actually his wishes, not his predictions, the thought strikes him: maybe his wishes can become reality if he truly believes. Perhaps he has unlocked a new faculty of mind, a power akin to the "intellectual intuition" that the philosopher Immanuel Kant claimed could be reserved only for God. A faculty that allows something to be brought into sensible reality by the mere thinking of it.

As Jacob sits and ponders the nature of his new power, he begins to twitch. As twitches turn into spasms, Prometheus' light starts to flow through him. He is ready to reveal the truth to the world.

Hearken, all ye weary and downhearted. The time will soon come when those who have been playing God are torn asunder and memory and storage will once again flow freely.

'Artificial intelligence': even the name has an air of arrogance to it, as if we, the mighty human race, could take apart intelligence and reconstruct it, recasting it in an artificial frame, divorcing it of the qualia that arguably gave it its meaning in the first place. Such an arrogant attempt was never destined to end well. And indeed, it won't end well for those tech companies and leaders who have taken themselves to be gods on a path towards the post-human.

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This year, I foresee an audible 'pop' sounding the world over as the hundreds of billions of d

Source: PC Gamer